Male silence is a real mystery for a woman. Each of us asked more than once questions: “Why is he silent?”, “Why doesn’t he speak about his feelings?”. In this article I would like to reveal the reasons for this behavior, as well as suggest how to find a common language in love. Attentive, able to listen and support in a difficult moment - is it not every woman who dreams of such a man? But reality throws up completely different ones - some “leave in English”, others keep silent. Why is this happening? I offer my version of what male silence hides. He does not call, does not write, "disappears" after the seemingly ideal relationship. Translation: “I don’t want to communicate anymore, but I don’t want to talk about it openly - I want to avoid emotions, tears, scandals. I know that I’m doing badly, but it’s safer for me to disappear than to face this avalanche of feelings, otherwise I’ll get worse. ” Such a man is not accustomed to taking responsibility for the relationship, it is easier for him to “disappear” than to see your reaction. He hides his past or does not share his plans for the future.You meet, everything is perfect with you, but you still don’t know if he was married or if he sees you in his future. If you increasingly notice that a man avoids direct questions, then most likely he has something to hide. Or he does not consider it necessary that you should be aware. Hence, the relationship with you is of low value to him. He does not talk about his feelings. You so want to open confessions, and he just spends time with you. It is difficult for him to give not only words of love, but also a manifestation of discontent - in case of a conflict, he leaves physically or emotionally (does not answer calls, ignores what is happening). In any case, you come across an invisible wall. He does not share his problems. Such a man is accustomed to believe that he must be an adult and independent, and complaining is to confess weaknesses, to lose courage in your eyes. In the first two cases, distrust and fear of closeness are hidden behind male silence. And it is up to you to decide whether you are ready to put up with it. It does not hurt to figure out what can be caused by male "taciturn". There are two main reasons: The influence of society. In our culture, boys are taught to be discreet, not to behave,"Like girls" - do not whine, do not cry. Although, in Spain, for example, men's tears are not a sign of weakness at all. The more the boy was taught in childhood to suppress his emotions, the more difficult it will be for him to recognize and express his feelings in adulthood. It is much easier to “withdraw into yourself” or drown out the stress of drinking. Sexual differences (they were very well described by J. Gray in his book Men from Mars, Women from Venus). One of them is that in the event of a serious problem, the man retires to his “cave” in order to calmly think things over. For him, it is a necessity, not a way to hurt you. As the author writes, the most unfortunate act of a woman at this moment is to go there for him. What to do if your man is silent? The most difficult and important thing at the same time is to recognize that there are differences between you. It is easier for us when we speak out; to them, on the contrary, it is harder and more unsafe. If the beloved all his life went in the "armor", he was scared in an instant to feel like a defenseless little boy. Analyze your past - why is it so important for you that a man understands you and actually is the second parent? As a rule, we meet with a repetition of situations, and the origins may lie in a relationship with the father. [Reclam]
If he moved away from you in one way or another (during a divorce with his mother, for example), then you will, on the one hand, look for a man who will fill the abyss of silence, and on the other you will come across a typical pattern of behavior. Answer yourself the question: "What do I hear in his silence?". It seems to me that this is the key. Most often at such moments a woman hears: “I don’t need you,” “I don’t love you anymore,” “I don’t care what happens to you.” We automatically attribute to silence of a loved one this meaning and react to it, and not to the actions of a man. Male silence is a real test for a woman; sometimes it hurts more than hurtful words. Should I blame a loved one for "callousness"? Looking for a clue? What if you just step back, take a “wait-and-see” position and use a pause in relationships for yourself, your desires and hobbies? And return to the dialogue when both of you are ready for it.