Surely each of us heard from the former / former sentence “Let's be friends” after a rather brutal separation. And we all thought, what does it really mean? Does this mean friendship or simply “incontinence of evil” against each other? Apparently, psychologists also thought about this and came to rather shocking conclusions.
In a recent study, researchers at Auckland University found a direct connection between such traits as narcissism and psychopathy and the desire of a person to maintain past relationships.
In other words, people who remain friends with their ex are daffodils and psychopaths.
Why? Usually such people are led by practical or sexual considerations. That is, they want to “remain friends” not because they really worry about their ex / ex, but because they want to use this person for their own selfish purposes or to manipulate them.
“Such a friendship after a relationship functionally remains the same to the extent that it allows the exchange of the desired resources to continue,” the study says.
Daffodils, for example, cling to past relationships because they hate to feel abandoned, that they have lost something. Keeping the person in their social circle, they feel as if they have “won” the separation.
Both daffodils and psychopaths cannot stand the thought that their ex / ex may be with another person, or that he / she will regain full control over their lives. As a result, such people maintain relationships with the former in order to be able to manipulate or control them.
That is why many psychologists advise to break off all relations with the former after breaking up. Being friends is not the best idea, you better without them, take care of your mental health.